Day 37-51: Bruised from falling off the bandwagon

It’s been way too long since I posted. I would love to say I have been doing tremendous things for my health since we last met, but that isn’t the case. It’s Christmas time and for the first time since my mom  passed I went all in baking cookies for everyone. You see it is a tradition. My mom and I with my sister Connie and niece Lise used to bake weekend after weekend in November and December just to make cookies for just about everyone in the town. Okay, maybe not that many, but A LOT! Peanut butter balls, orange drop cookies, marmalade cookies, honey cookies and on and on. I think we did about 8 dozen of 10 types of cookies. Then we made up trays to hand out. It was so much fun delivering them. I remember the last time I delivered cookies to my mom’s neighbor (mom passed away suddenly a couple weeks after Christmas that year). I rang the doorbell and heard feet flying down the stairs and from the back of the house and two young girls yelling, “the cookies are here, the cookies are here.” I will never forget it. It was those moments that made giving up every weekend to bake with Mom worthwhile.

I digress. My intention was to change all these cookie recipes into healthy ones by substituting flours for gluten free, refined sugar for coconut sugar, etc. I didn’t. I couldn’t. It didn’t feel like my time with Mom. Now normally, I am not much of a cookie eater, BUT I had just began removing sugar out of my diet when I started making these cookies. What happens when you give something up? At some point in the process of elimination you will KILL someone for what you can’t have. But I could have it. Refined sugar was in every cookie I made and every pecan and almond I spiced. And the day when I could no longer stay away, I ate 2 cookies, then 2 more cookies and then washed them down with a coke! OMG! I didn’t. Oh yes I did. Talk about feeling like crap mentally, physically and emotionally. (Insert toilet flushing sound). I was sad because I was baking cookies alone and missing my mom and my sisters. Then sprinkle in the fact that I just failed at eliminating sugar and I was one HOT mess.

Now I did do some GOOD things over the last 15 days and I must give myself some credit.

1. I introduced family to kale chips over the Thanksgiving holiday. Some liked them, others did not. It was fun teaching people about food and talking nutrition. What I realized is how much the holistic nutrition concepts resonate with me. It’s pretty cool.
2. I didn’t indulge in a lot of sugar over the Thanksgiving holiday. I showed restraint.
3. We hosted a party for Jeff’s work team. I didn’t eat a single piece of lasagna because I am pretty certain I have dairy allergies. That was hard, but I did it. However, I had already busted the “no sugar” rule, so what the hell, right.  And I chose to eat the good food first: salad, bruschetta, green beans amandine and vegetable crudite.
4. I used stevia in my homemade sauce instead of sugar and it didn’t change the taste a bit.
5. I continued to experiment with new vegetables, fruits and grains while making whole foods for lunch and dinner.
6. Although I didn’t make it to any yoga or gym classes last week, I did do yoga stretching at home almost every day.
7. The day after Jeff’s party I rested all day. I staying in my pajamas until 2 in the afternoon. If we didn’t need to run an errand I don’t think I would have changed out of them.
8. I took my supplements and consumed 8-10 cups of water a day.
9. I completed my reading and homework assignments with little stress.Tonight I am off to yoga and officially back on the bandwagon! GO ME!